Fred

I remember reading this one a while back, and I don't have too much to add. Again, I really like the voice here and it does a lot to pull me in. I got tripped up a few times by all the sentences beginning with "And/But" and I wonder if an out-loud read through might help smooth things out.

I love your description of the dog and the way you paint out the landscape for me. Though this line was a bit awkward, "Not only was the dog the same color as July grass on the Colorado plains, but he was shorter than the grass would be then, too." You're simultaneously describing him as like the grass, but not like the grass. An easy fix.

Keppy Wins Prize

David's book of poetry, The Prayers of Others, won the Colorado Book Award!

Rules of the Road

Joe poses a good question about the role of the 'workshopee'.

Because this is a web critique and you don't really interrupt us and we don't really have a time limit, like a real workshop, I think things questions for clarification and questions leading to further discussion of techniques (Like: How should microfiction be handled?) should be allowed. Perhaps discussion of techniques should be made their own post though, because we tend to be long-winded.

However, I am totally against 'defending the work'. Tirades saying that 'we just don't get it' don't work for me. If ten people are off the mark, then it's the writer, not the reader. If one person seems a little lost, I think that bringing them up to speed is okey-dokey.

Any other thoughts on ground rules?

My Ancient Computer Sucks!

I apologize for creating an entire blog post to say this, but since I'm very interested in reading everyone's work, I want to make sure everyone reads this. I'm having a problem opening email attachments. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I would appreciate it if we all could post our stories within the body of our emails. This way I won't have to worry about opening attachments. (I'm sorry for being difficult, but you guys know me. Everything is all about me, and it always has to be difficult.)

P.S. Joe, I would love to read the story you sent out. Would you please resend it, embedded in the email, to the missyshell address ?

Discussion: Thank You

Since Joe was brave enough to send out the first piece (yay!), I guess I'll kick off the converstion.

I think I'll start big and then go smaller. I loved how there is so much going on in such a small space (page/word count wise). The smallest details reveal quirks about the narrator that usually take a while to unfold: his decision to stop at target reveals that he's impulsive as well as accepting coffee then thinking about the consequences after. I think the characterization was great.

In such a short story, it's hard to incorporate all of the usual plot elements (and I don't necessarily think you should try to cram everything in) so I think there has to be something dramatic to make up for that (not really "make up for" but I can't think of how else to word it). The images seem to fulfill that role: the silver hair on the pillow, the red & white flowers, the crow & the can, etc. I think that could be played up a little more. Make those unique and quite lovely images more powerful, maybe more overtly symbollic? I don't know if that's the route you want to go though, but something to think about.

Now here is the detail stuff. I was confused at the beginning in the transition from Target to hospital; I thought a nurse was cutting flowers at Target. That made me miss that the flowers were impulse, but not necessarily visiting the sister.

Again, thank you Joe for volunteering!

~Lydia

An Idea

Okay, so the google pages are kinda awkward and we have that whole 'publication' versus 'not publication issue. Here's an idea.

Lydia, you have everyone's e-mail, send a list to everyone that is participating. When we have a piece that needs to be read, we'll send a mass e-mail out. We'll all read them via e-mail and then discuss on the blog. The comments sections are really good for discussion, which is what we're all shooting for anyway.

Whatcha guys think?

Stephen King on the "state of the short story"

Anybody read this?

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/30/books/review/King2-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

It seems to be generating some controversy